How does gift giving change as we get older?

By Florenne Earle Ledger published 27/11/2023

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For those of us who celebrate Christmas and were lucky enough to grow up with Christmas being exciting rather than stressful, it’s funny to think about how gift giving changes as we get older, and how the way we received gifts as children might still influence us today. 


Gifts as material things


I never really wrote a Christmas list but I think when you’re a child you have more of an idea of what you’d like for Christmas than you do as an adult. If anyone was to ask me now what I want for Christmas, age 23, I wouldn’t know what to say. Whereas aged 12, I might have said I wasn’t sure to be polite, but I could think of a few things I wanted.


As kids, a lot of us who are lucky to be given presents, are conditioned into thinking of Christmas presents as physical gifts, anything in the Argos catalogue or in WH Smiths (does every child have an obsession with notebooks even though they have nothing to write down or was that just me?), but when we get older we don’t rely on objects bringing us entertainment in the same way. 

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Can we change how we give?


I feel like a lot of the time when people asked me what I want for Christmas as a teenager, nothing came to mind, so I ended up googling random things to see if there was anything I wanted. 


I am not complaining about being bought gifts or having family ask me if they can get me anything, but I think it’s interesting how often we say things we might like for the sake of it. And if we say nothing, people will buy us things anyway, but things we might not like or use- so which is better?


It’s also hard to buy gifts for people sometimes because a lot of adults are able to buy things for themselves when they want them, whereas when you’re a child you don’t have any of your own money before you can start some kind of Saturday job.


I’ve definitely bought random bits for my family, friends or boyfriend, that maybe I knew they didn’t really need or might not love, just because I wanted to get them something extra to show them I wanted to treat them. But random gifts don’t really do that…


What if we changed how we gave presents to be more mindful and less material? There are plenty of ways to give gifts that are thoughtful and free from our preconditioned understanding of gifts as physical items.


How to give good gifts


Whering Wishlist


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Shameless self promo >


If you’re not already aware, you can save things on your Whering wishlist and share it with friends/family so they know what you might like for Christmas.


If you’re going to ask for something, make it something you’ve wanted for a while, not something you found just to have an answer to ‘what do you want for Christmas?’



Experience presents 


I know people often think that taking someone out for dinner or planning a day trip is a cop out present, but I disagree! I would rather someone plan something for us to do, or buy me a coffee, than something physical that I don’t need. 


If you’re looking for a gift for someone that you don’t really see often so you can’t take them yourself, why not get them a voucher for a restaurant or a store? You’re treating them but letting them dictate their own experience so they’ll definitely enjoy it.


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A one way ticket


Kind of the same as the above, but tickets to a concert, play or even plane tickets, are a great present. It depends on the person of course, but I feel like a present like this is always a slay. It shows you’ve taken initiative to think of something they would like to do and you’re making plans for the future.


Give/receive less


Getting/giving less presents is fine. If there’s nothing you want or need, just let your family know. There’s no need to go overboard with presents that won’t benefit you or bring anything to life. Obviously it’s nice to treat people you love and we encourage this!! But with nice meaningful presents rather than just random bits to increase the number of presents under the tree, like filler tracks on an album.


That’s all from me. Hopefully this wasn’t totally giving scrooge. Merry Christmas.


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