Scrolling Life: Finding Joy in the Everyday
By Nona Dimitrova published 05/12/2024
Everything is romantic inspiring!
I went through a breakup this summer. It was one of those soul-crushing, can’t-listen-to-music, can’t-watch-movies kind of breakups. Happy songs felt stupid; sad ones felt like poking an already massive bruise. Rom-coms were too much, comedies felt forced, and anything really good made me think, Oh, they’d love this. When it came to my work, I barely managed 20-minute bursts before my mind wandered back to the same place.
Around my friends, I felt like a tiny, grey rain cloud, drizzling over every conversation. I didn’t want to be that person, but I couldn’t help it.
At some point—don’t ask me exactly when—I decided I’d had enough. I didn’t wake up suddenly healed or enlightened, but I started doing small things. Forcing myself to smile, even when it felt fake. Chatting with strangers—a compliment here, a thank-you there. Holding the door open with exaggerated enthusiasm, in a borderline cartoonish way. At first, it felt awkward, but something started to shift.
I began noticing everything: the way the library windows perfectly reflected the trees across the street, a dad and his son matching outfits on the Overground platform, small gestures of intimacy all around me. These tiny, everyday moments became a source of quiet wonder. Before I knew it , these forced acts of happiness actually made me happier.
"Paying attention to life around me changed not just how I felt, but how I acted."
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And here’s the unexpected part: paying attention to life around me changed not just how I felt, but how I acted. For years, shopping had been my go-to comfort—whether it was filling a bad day with the thrill of something new or celebrating a good one with a little reward. Even after moving to secondhand shopping, I was still constantly chasing the “newness” of it all. But as I started noticing beauty in the world around me, the craving for more stuff started to fade.
Now, instead of scrolling for clothes, I find myself scrolling life. I notice the way two DLR trains look like best friends when they’re docked together. Or the way people carefully pick out flowers at the supermarket, their faces soft with quiet deliberation. These little moments give me the kind of joy I used to seek from a new dress or a cute pair of shoes—and it lasts so much longer.
"Instead of scrolling for clothes, I find myself scrolling life."
And here’s the unexpected part: paying attention to life around me changed not just how I felt, but how I acted. For years, shopping had been my go-to comfort—whether it was filling a bad day with the thrill of something new or celebrating a good one with a little reward. Even after moving to secondhand shopping, I was still constantly chasing the “newness” of it all. But as I started noticing beauty in the world around me, the craving for more stuff started to fade.
Now, instead of scrolling for clothes, I find myself scrolling life. I notice the way two DLR trains look like best friends when they’re docked together. Or the way people carefully pick out flowers at the supermarket, their faces soft with quiet deliberation. These little moments give me the kind of joy I used to seek from a new dress or a cute pair of shoes—and it lasts so much longer.
This shift also made me think about how we interact with each other, especially online. My old “finsta” was full of complaints—700 posts, mostly me griping about one thing or another. Even in spaces I love, like sustainability circles, it felt like positivity always had to come with a disclaimer. The creators in the space, whom I admire so much for the advocacy they do, seemed incapable of sharing something positive, without a negative to go along with it.
But when I started speaking more gently—online and in person—I noticed people around me responding differently. My conversations felt more meaningful, and others seemed more willing to engage with me on a deeper level. It made me wonder: what would happen if we extended this softness more broadly? Don’t get me wrong—anger is important, and there’s so much happening in the world which justifies feeling so angry. It fuels change. But sometimes, especially online, that anger turns inward, aimed at each other, and it stalls progress instead of driving it forward. What if we made a little more space for kindness and curiosity? One of your followers buying a different pair of loafers to the ones you love isn’t the real enemy.
"It’s not about chasing some perfect aesthetic—it’s about reconnecting with what feels real"
This ties into something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately: this broader feeling I’ve noticed, especially among younger people, of yearning. While Feeld reports that Gen-Z’s biggest kink is monogamy (and not by a small margin), Death to Stock follows up by pointing to a recent shift of a deep longing for meaning and connection, for a life that feels richer, slower, and more intentional. Maybe it’s a reaction to how fast and fragmented everything feels these days, or maybe it’s always been there, and we’re just better at naming it now.
This yearning shows how people are drawn to slow living, journaling, exploring nature, or documenting quiet, beautiful moments of daily life. Being more observant has made me yearn to see more. It’s not about chasing some perfect aesthetic—it’s about reconnecting with what feels real. When I started paying attention to the world around me, I realized how much I’d been missing. And honestly, the more I leaned into it, the more grounded and whole I felt.
Here are a few things that have inspired me lately:
Artwork by Amaan Jahangir
The medium mix and the use of something as modern as text messages, notes app entries, and social media posts to reflect a generational feeling felt very powerful - I felt very seen. Discover his work here.
The lyrics to Lola Young’s "Messy"
Someone recently started a conversation with me by asking me what the most interesting thing about me is. That felt like being hit by a ton of bricks before 10am; I couldn’t think of a good answer. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised how stupid of a question it was. The more you observe yourself and those around you, the more it truly starts to sink in how complex and multifaceted people are (hot take, I know). To try and boil someone down to one single thing is a disservice to their person. Anyone I ask will tell you a different thing they find most interesting about me, because I am a different person to so many people. And to myself, everything about me is interesting. See also: this.
The Art of Not Sharing
I have been reflecting a lot on the “We Should All Know Less About Each Other” ( a great article from 2021) and “you were never supposed to be aware of this many people” sentiments. A recent interview with Denzel Washington from the Gladiator II press tour expressed a similar thought: “there weren’t 9 million opinions at any moment in time.” The generational gap between Gen-Zs and older millennials is vast in this space: younger people live in a world where social media is inescapable, and we’re not afforded the same access to privacy as previous generations are thanks to the years and decades of face-to-face networking they’ve managed to cultivate. It inspired me to seek out digital and physical spaces where I don’t have to feel constantly perceived, and can therefore begin to find that most authentic version of myself, the one which isn’t a performance. More on this another time.
People around me
This father and son had matching outfits on the underground platform. I found it really heartwarming.
@quida__ on TikTok
Not a fan of pointing out specific people’s style but as I mentioned in a previous article, I’m focused more on people’s energies than the clothes they’re wearing. A lot of what this creator (Ida) wears is not my style, but I’m inspired by how ethereal and effortlessly herself she is. I did also love her cuffing her jumper sleeves with bracelets, and may have stolen that to spice up my own winter wardrobe, with the only bracelet I own from the V&A gift shop.
These moments and corners of the internet remind me that life doesn’t have to be loud or dramatic to be beautiful. Sometimes, the smallest details are the ones that stick with you. And when I feel the pull to buy something, to fill a gap or distract myself, I remind myself to look closer. Everything I need to feel joy is already here, waiting to be noticed.
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