Social media overwhelms my visual taste buds. Here's how I try to tune it out.

When I checked back on the video a few days later, a few new comments had appeared. In rather condescending words, they essentially said “how about you try finding your personal style?” Easier said than done, anonymous Tiktok commenter. But they had the right idea. 

I personally recently needed a new pair of shoes too. Not because I must get a new pair of shoes every season! I’ve been wearing my ancient Air Force 1s and platform Converse for a better part of 5 years. The Air Forces are so worn down, their plastic is stabbing me in the heel with every step I take. The Converse? Their platform is entirely disconnected from the body of the shoe. Did I keep wearing them despite this? Absolutely. Can I get away with wearing them in their current condition? Probably, but not everywhere. Definitely not when it rains. 

Now, when I saw this video, I knew I needed new shoes. And I also knew that sifting through the comments would probably be a horrible idea, resulting in me jumping on a trend without too much thought behind whether or not I actually like something. So I didn’t. 

Instead, I made a mental list. I need comfortable trainers. Ones I can style with as many things as possible. Preferably fairly unbranded. Preferably multi-tone so they don’t feel stark when worn with different colours. And they, under any circumstances, cannot be Sambas. Why? Because I spent so long debating whether or not I like them, I knew for me, purchasing Sambas would be subconsciously fueled by wanting to fit in.

So with this in mind, I spent months entering shoe stores whenever I passed by them. It was helpful, because I knew that trying on or looking for anything other than trainers would be taking me off course. No, I’m not looking for flats, or loafers, or mary janes. And so eventually, I found the right pair for me. I was in no rush. And I felt happy with it. I knew this was a pair of shoes I’d wear to death. 

I saw almost everything that was out there, and made a personal and informed decision based on the needs I had. Who knew! People can do hard things! 

Now this is a specific case, we don’t always buy things out of necessity. So how do we discern between what it is we actually like, and what it is we’ve been conditioned to like? I’ve created a little list which I always check back with, and you might find useful too:

• Never ask someone where something is from. Buying the same item as somebody else because we like how it looks on them is a sure way to condition yourself to always want to imitate. Instead, take a mental picture, try to think about what it is you like about this item, and try to describe it. See what else is out there. You might even find something which fits your taste even more. 
• Don’t rush purchases. Owning a piece of clothing is rarely life or death. I mean I was walking around with broken Converse for a good year, and I survived! The longer you give yourself to sit with a ‘want’ and see what else is out there (hey, you might even find it secondhand), the more sure you can be that you actually like something. 
• Try styling it first. I know we talk about this a lot, but I truly do live by this one. Add it to your Whering app and see how many times you can style it. Do you feel driven to wear it more than once? To wear it in more ways than the specific outfit you had envisioned?
• Do you like the item, or do you like the outfit the person is wearing? Never purchase an item when you’re actually just trying to buy into the person’s whole vibe and the outfit they’ve put together. Also, never buy an entire outfit. It’s a sure way to completely limit yourself to the number of ways you can style an item. 

And of course, please, keep rewearing the items you bought last Spring! Just because Tiktok didn’t crown the New Balances, or whatever, which you purchased last year as the new ‘it-girl’ shoe of Spring/Summer, doesn’t mean you should stop wearing them. I mean, how many people called AF1s ‘cheugy’? Who cares! Trust yourself enough to remember you bought it for a reason in the first place.