Thoughts I Had While Rewatching New York Minute
I recently re-watched New York Minute, the classic of the y2k era starring the Olsen twins. I hadn’t seen it in a hot minute (or should I say a NY minute) so when it showed up on Netflix Switzerland, I took it as a divine sign that I had to give it another watch. And wow, this film is surreal. Not sure if I would recommend it but the outfits are definitely… inspirational.
So here’s the extremely bad summary of New York Minute which absolutely nobody asked for, but all of us needed. Oh yeah, also spoilers ahead.
1. Here we go! So Ashley plays Jane, an uptight overachiever and Mary-Kate is Roxy, a laidback and punk-rock chick. They live with their widowed dad somewhere suburban and they couldn’t be more different from each other! A y2k trope we’ve definitely never seen before.
2. I have a feeling they’ll get along by the end of the film though.
3. There really are two types of people in this world, those who colour-code their closets and those with floordrobes. I bet Jane would have used an app like Whering but Roxy would be the one who actually needed it.
4. Wait, Eugène Levy from Schitt’s Creek is in this? He plays a truancy officer (no idea) and he’s creepily obsessed with Roxy.
5. I’m confused, is Mary-Kate a “truant” because she’s skipped class a few too many times? What does “truant” even mean? Is this how things are done in the US? This film has wannabe Ferris Bueller vibes.
6. The Olsen Twins are so iconic, honestly, how do they do it? I even love their overpriced The Row aesthetic that they’re doing now. Nothing beats the “Our Lips are Sealed” era though.
7. The twins are both going to New York City! Jane is delivering a speech for a prestigious scholarship to Oxford and Roxy wants to see Simple Plan perform (lol, remember Simple Plan? Neither do I).
8. Okay, they’re on a train for the city and annoying everyone in the carriage! And they get kicked off because Roxy doesn’t have a ticket so they agree to a limousine ride from a creepy guy… Red flag? Don’t get into cars with strangers, I can tell you that for free.
9. This plot is bizarre, there’s now a chip that’s been mistakenly planted in one of the twins’ bags but Jane forgot her all important day planner in the limo!! Also it seems like the chip has pirated music on it (very y2k).
10. Okay, this film is so surreal, they’ve been drenched in water from a passing bus so they’ve broken into a random hotel room? And a dog has eaten the chip and been thrown out the window? And now they’re on one of those window washing contraptions used on high-rises in towels as it plummets towards the floor?? Nightmare.
11. Cute boy alert, of course you’d run into your next boyfriend in a literal towel in NYC! Also it looks like Jane is going to end up with the son of a senator, seems appropriate.
12. Crowd surfing in I <3 NY t-shirts at a Simple Plan concert! Cute. Not very Covid friendly though.
13. Oh no, the white guy pretending to be Asian is so problematic. We’ve come a long way since 2004 but how did people not realise how offensive this was at the time...? Also they’re now kidnapped but they escape through the sewer and I’m going to give up on explaining the plot because it’s insane.
14. Aaaand it just got so much worse, the twins are getting a makeover in a beauty parlour called “The House of Bling” run by Black women and honestly I can’t even express how bad this is… Yikes, now they’re doing a dance - Elle Woods’ bend and snap truly walked so the Olsen twins could run. This reminds me of the “white girl dancing” trend on TikTok.
15. Car chase through New York City! The campervan couple are the stars of the show. And Ashley reversing down one-way streets is a mood.
16. Roxy pretends to be Jane to help her get the scholarship (must be useful having a twin) but Jane makes it there after all and nails her presentation!
17. All’s well that ends well! Roxy and her band are smashing it, Jane is off to Oxford, they both have cute boyfriends and Eugène Levy is now a cop. It’s been a wild ride.